Goodbye
by Kaiyote
Summary: Willow says what she should have said a long time ago. And lets go.


Title: Goodbye   
Email: vardametwen@yahoo.com   
Rating: G   
Paring: none. Just Willow   
Summary: Willow says what she should have said a long time ago. And lets go.   
Spoilers: Seeing Red and up or which ever mean that it's Seeing Re, Villians, ect.   
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I wish I did...too bad Sunnydale doesn't exist. Of and I don't own Michelled Branche's song Goodbye to You, which btw is a wonderful song.   
Website: http://www30.brinkster.com/nsanlncy/hidden

  
Notes: Song(Michelle Branch - Goodbye to You) is in italics   
  
  
  
  


_  
Of all the things   
I've believed in   
I just want to   
Get it over with_   
  
Willow looked outside at city's night sky. She turned around and sat on her bed, sighing softly. It had been a year, a year since Tara had been killed by Warren. A year since she had left Sunnydale, left her old life behind. Left everything she knew. She had believed that her and Tara's love would last forever, but life always seemed to kick her down when she was standing tall and proud.   
  
_Tears form behind my eyes   
But I do not cry   
Counting the days   
That pass me by_   
  
It actually had been a year. A year ago this day Tara had been killed by Warren. A year ago a part of her had died. "A year, gone away," Willow whispered softly. Her nose tingled softly, and she could tell she wanted to cry, but she didn't cry. And it had been one year since she had left her old life, the Sunnydale chapter she called it sometimes. Most of the time she counted the days that had gone by, the ones after Tara died.   
  
_I've been searching   
Deep down in my soul   
Words that I'm hearing   
Are starting to get old_   
  
"You're just going soul searching," as Dawn said hopefully to her. And Willow had said yes, but of course as time when on she was sure Dawn had lost hope. Part of her doubted that, said she should go back. But she couldn't, that place would always remind her of her Tara, her baby. And they were all so simpathetic, it would make her mad. They shouldn't just be sad because of how bad she was hurting, but because they were sad about Tara.   
  
_It feels like   
I'm starting all over again   
The last three years   
Were just pretend   
And I said_   
  
Willow had also built a life her too, a small life. She had one very close friend. Her name was Laurah. Even though she sometimes badly wanted to leave, but didn't. And everytime she thought about going back she always wondered if the place existed. That if she only just been dreaming about Tara, and Buffy, and everyone else. And she wondered if they really was a person name Tara, who looked exactly one like she had known. And if her time with the Tara she knew was just pretend. That she could go back and Tara would be there.   
  
_"Goodbye to you   
Goodbye to everything   
I thought I knew   
You were the one I loved   
The one thing that   
I tried to hold on to"_   
  
And WiIlow wished she could just say goodbye, as she stepped toward the window again. It hurt her to say or think that. Because then she'd be letting go, and she'd feel horrible if she did. Because then she'd be giving up everything she'd work so hard to do. Start magic, then stopped or tried to stop, then really stop. Then that would be all for nothing, and Tara would have been to. And Tara had been the only person Willow'd wanted, she was the one thing now that Willow was trying to hold onto.   
  
_I still get lost in your eyes   
And it seems that   
I can't live a day without you   
Closing my eyes and   
You chase my thoughts away   
To a place where   
I am blinded by the light   
But it's not right_   
  
And everytime Willow thought about Tara or looked at pictures she'd always get lossed in Tara's eyes, and voice. And when Tara had died Willow thought she couldn't live withouth her. But then after days, weeks, months of thinking about Tara she began to think she saw something. In her dreamd, she thought she did. Something glimmering and white and magnificant, and beautiful. IT made her nightmares of Tara dying go away.   
  
_And it hurts to want everything   
And nothing at the same time   
I want what's yours   
And I want what's mine   
I want you   
But I'm not giving in this time_   
  
And Willow would always seem to want to let go of Tara, but then she wanted so many other things. Chances that never came, or never could. What it would be like to have Tara still with me, Warren not being born, many other things, but then she'd always come back to the same one...to let go. And then Willow would know that she'd be alright. Then Tara would get to move on. Because, Willow thinks, maybe if I let go of her I won't need her like I used to, that she could move on too. And then she feels like giving up on the thoughts of letting go, but this stime Willow knows she can't.   
  
_And when the stars fall   
I will lie awake   
You're my shooting star_   
  
And as WIllow walked to take a last look outside, she breathed in deeply. Then breathed out slowly. As she one shooting star that seemed to be headed just for her she decided something. And in a shaky voice and with one lone tear she said, "Goodbye, Tara."   
  
  
fin. 


End file.
